a little talk with my mom about my recent past
has brought back certain emotions.

a tinge of pain,
and a bucket of tears.
so many words,
yet left unspoken,
became a burden to this willing heart.
life was at its lowest point,
yet there was nothing i could do about it.
i've tried hard to forget this past,
but i can't.
even with my very best efforts,
i couldn't forget even a small part of it.
even until now,
it still haunts me.

i hope everything turns out fine later in the end.

good day (:
x`0uch-

i wish..

dunno what to say ..
so this post is a dot post.

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hellos !

i'm eating snake from work and at home blogging ! =D
so bored at station =(
i almost died of boredom in there..
>_< ...
oh well.
so i was surfing baidu.
and i found this song.
hmm, the lyrics added together doesnt sound that good.
but there are parts of it that i really love ! =D
let you all see see ! ^^

我会好好过,
等你再爱我,
总有个角落,
会让你想起我.

我会好好过
当你回头
看到的一定是我.

with all that i am,
i promise you a love of a lifetime. (:
<3*ling. ^^

life's a messy messy mess ! o.o

mess mess mess..
more mess more mess more mess..
very mess very mess very mess..
very very mess very very mess very very mess..
wahh messy ah, die liao;
wahh messy ah, die liao;
wahh messy ah, die liao.

~.~

heh heh. sorry.
dunno what to post.
my brain like very messy ahh.
then blog messy ! =D

take care.

i cannot be more sorry than now. shit.
why do i always just sleep sleep sleep.
hiro, time to * wake up !
how could i have just slept like that.

im so sorry *ling. so sorry.
what was i thinking, sleeping like that.
sighs. i bet you tried to wake me up,
but i couldn't right. dammit.
wa* i damn suck. sorry.
i dont know how many sorry's i'm gonna say,
but dammit, im really sorry.
of all nights, i had to sleep tonight.
sighs.
im sorry..

i had a really damn bad day yesterday.
i went to work, not feeling too well.
and i heard i had to work on saturday,
the day when i was sposedly meeting lyn to go out.
and the worse thing is i can't claim that shit,
cos it's punishment for being late.
it never pays to be honest in the bloody station.
how many pple come late,
yet they put the timing @ 0830 ?
i decided to be honest and put that i was really late for 15 mins.
and now, i have to work a * 8 hours to payback as punishment ? lol?
wth is wrong with this station.
i srsly dont understand.
so if they make us go home late,
how are they gonna pay us back?
they * let us home at 1840 yesterday.
how the hell u gonna pay us back?!
bastards.
its always pay back to them and never get paid back?
is that the way its sposed to be?
there's no logic behind this.
you pay and pay and pay,
when do u ever get anything in return.
so what if its national service.
so you're telling me ur serving the nation,
and they cannot help you back?
HAH, screw this place.
seriously.

why the hell does life feel so wrong now,
everything just feels so wrong.
ITS MY DAMN LIFE AND I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG.
IT'S LIKE WHEN ONE IS BORN IN SINGAPORE,
UR LIFE ISN'T YOUR LIFE ANYMORE.
EVEN IF YOU GO SUICIDE,
YOU'RE STILL IN THE WRONG.
MY LIFE OWE SINGAPORE ONE AH.
LIKE THAT WHO WANT TO STAY HERE.
ma de ..

k totally damn sian way to start a day.
but oh wth.
time to bathe and go to work. zdotz.

im sorry lyn,
i truly am.

*hiro.

i feel ...
so dry;
so empty;
so alone.

people tend to feel this way once in awhile.
and i'm only human.
sometimes, i wanna find someone out,
just to take a walk, or just sit and watch the stars.

well i just asked the one person i'd love to do that with,
and she tells me she's busy with other stuff.
so forget it.

ahh thats life !
at least it is now.
i dont understand why i'm emoing,
but i just am. probably its just another bad day.
luckily i slept thru almost all of it.

goodnights.

please, give me strength to carry on.

Create your own Friend Test here


FAIL THIS TEST AND I'M GONNA KILL YOU ! =D

HAH ! THE GODLY DONUTS ! =D

hah !
hello again world !
today is the most LOL day of my life. =x
well, i slept at 2 - 3 am last night ?
and then i had to wake up at 9 cos some idiot friends of mine wanted breakfast.
okokays. so i decided to go, since i had to queue for donuts later on.
so i just went ahead with them.
they wanted to go to this dimsum buffet thing at chinatown,
and when we reached, we realised that,
oh they changed the timing for the dimsum buffet to 3pm. =.=
omg, totally pwned. damn sian.
then after that, we sit down think think think,
then decided on chickenrice !
ALL THE WAY TO CHINATOWN FOR FREAKING CHICKEN RICE. LOL. -_-
omg lah. but oh well, the portion was GIGANTIC ! =O !!!
4 dollars can eat 2 pple alr ~.~" siao one..
so anyways, i ordered chicken noodles, with the other 2,
and koh ordered chickenrice. =.= the portion of chickenrice,
is really scary. LOL. and koh finished it all. -claps.
it was like x2 of the chicken noodles -_- ...

so after our meal,
i asked koh to accompany me to raffles city to buy ..
DONUTS from THE !#$^%^*@ DONUT FACTORY !
walao eh.
we reached the place at late 10 am about 11.
and we looked at the queue and thot,
eh, quite little pple, heng arh..
then stood at the queue.
then this lady said to us,
"eh .. i think the queue is behind there (pointing to a longggg queue behind)."
so i'm like har ? orh okays, thankyou ! (: ..
SCAMMED !
it's not even opened and there are AT LEAST 20 odd pple at the queue ALREADY.
so we sat there for awhile and talked about dota and laughed til my throat hurt. -_-
something about how koh got scammed ! LOL. nerd.
so anyways, i was like wah .. why so long haven't open yet. T_T ..
so i went up front the ask the lady again,
and she told me, oh they only open at around 1245 to 1300 ..
OMGWTHBBQASDF!
and guess what, it was still ... 1115.
k, die liao ..
so we just sat there, and sleep !
LOL in the middle of the queue,
in the middle of nowhere inside the shopping complex,
we slept right there, sitting down of cos !
z_z zzz. . .
when we woke up, HAH.
1200 ! =D 45 more mins to opening ! ^^.
we were hungry again !
so we decided to grab a bite.
we played SCISSORS PAPER STONE,
to decide who's gonna ask the lady behind us to help us "CHOP" the place.
cos we were both too paiseh to ask =x LOL.
and i lose ! T_T wahh. lose so many times. damn sway. LOL.
aiyah, then no choice lah. ask then ask loh.
went to buy drinks only in the end. orange juice. -_- eee.
not nice one. DAMN SOUR. cos FRESHLY SQUEEZED.
YUCK !
but it kept us awake ! =p

hah, so wait wait wait. =.= finally get donut loh. godly donut. make me queue 4 hours.
FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE IM QUEUE-ING FOR SOMETHING THAT HASN'T EVEN OPENED YET ! OMG !
wahhhh. never again man ! never ! LOL. super scam !

hah ! headed home after that and slept ! T_T
but lyn wants to wake up after only 2 hours of sleep. =( !
so i woke up, ate dinner with her and then watch naruto episode 17.
then after that send her home le. ~.~

come to think of it, aiyah.
i think its still worth it to queue that long.
not only does it taste good,
it's for someone i love.
so WHO'S COMPLAINING ! =D =X

<3!
godly donut scammer !

hello world. (:

was listening to this song,
One Last by our very own Taufik Batisah.
i dont really like the song,
but i can relate to the lyrics alot,
so here are some parts of the lyrics that i really like.
((:

i never could imagine life without you
from the moment you walked into my world.
never knew how long a loving flame could burn,
but losing you has forced me to learn.


everytime i try to take a stand at all,
i see your face and i fall.
in the middle of the night, there's a scent of a rose,
the smell of your perfume i suppose.


baby if we met under a different sky,
maybe then things would be better between you and i.
we could always hold on to this one special thing we share...

yeah.. thats about all the versus that i really like.
man make mistakes in life one time or another.
but that is just not another excuse to give up.
even when things seem impossible,
stand up, and try again, and again and again !
and believe that one day, you will succeed.
perservere to the end,
and even if you dont succeed,
look back and see,
i'm sure you will have no regrets then.
as they say,
it's not the destination that matters,
but really the journey you took.

i'm sorry i had to let me friends see me wallowing in self pity
all the time, just because i fell outta love,
or because i had a minor set back.
i'm truly sorry, and once again i thank them for still standing by me,
even when they think i'm beyond hope,
or when i'm too much to handle.

thank you guys.
you will forever be with me,
in my heart. (:

please be mine once more,
and let me show you what love has to offer.

true love does exist,
only if you believe.

it's so pissing to know something like that.
esp when part of the reason about what happened after 137th,
was because of someone like him.
god, i feel like peeling his skin,
and throw him into the sea to feed the sharks.

i'm just glad that the light is out.
and we're all finally able to see again.
for a week now,
i've been living in the darkness of the day.
it was scary not to be able to see.
but now i'm glad its all over.

what used to be darkness a week back,
is now replaced with a soothing white light,
and me with my arms wide open,
waiting ..
waiting for the day where you come back
to where you belong.
in these arms.

ily,tmd.

i've had really good times in life,
and bad ones too, of course.
and i really appreciate the people in my life.

i've always had really good friends,
but i chose to be lazy,
and put them aside,
never knowing how to cherish those beside me.

it's funny how the love for one person just blinds you,
really blinds you totally from everything !
so much so that it disgusts me.
yes, i'm disgusted with myself.
for having neglected my friends for so long.
and now that i feel alone, i want them back.
how selfish can i get.
im sorry to my friends,
my brothers, and sisters.
i am truly sorry.
and also sorry,
so damn sorry for myself,
for having been so pathetic,
so weak, so blind.

dont get me wrong.
it's not that i regret loving anyone at all.
especially not you.
but it's just that,
how could i ever neglect my friends ?
it's not like i'm with you 24/7.
it's not like i have no time to spare at all.
yet, and YET i chose to be lazy.
to be selfish and insensitive.
i'm really sorry.

thank you for all the times you people spent with me,
going through my ups and downs with me.
thank you lynette for everything you've done for me.
and this whole entry doesn't mean i'll love you any less.
thank you grace for even being there at all, even when i hardly talk to you,
you'd still take the initiative to talk to me still.
thank you clarence for all the trouble i've put you into because of my laziness,
for sacrificing your time, always, for someone like me.
thank you shan, for always being there for me whenever i'm down,
never failing to let me see things in a more different light.
thank you jianling(elf) for being there to talk to me, joke with me,
playing with me and keeping me company, and even being angry for me. lol.
thank you patrick(lux), for all the times we shared together, talking and playing,
all the late night k-ings.
thank you kenny, koh, xmel, and company, for all the late night mj sessions,
just for me to help me keep my mind off things.
thank you jan for caring, for talking to me at all, i really appreciate it.

and thank you everyone, i'm sorry if i've left you out, but please,
that doesnt mean the least bit that i've forgotten about you.
that's not true. i'm just not in the right kinda mood to write any further.
now it seems that love no longer stays in one place,
but shared among many, even if majority of it still stays at a certain place. (:

good day everyone.

it's time i grew up.
it's time i learned.

to my baby, my starling, my one and only,
please allow me to call you that for one last time.
thank you for all the times you've spent with me.
thank you for all the sacrifices you've made for me.
thank you for being tolerant with me all these while.
thank you for always being there for me, always knowing how to cheer me up.
thank you for smiling even when it was hard for you to put one up.
thank you for all the bits and pieces of things you made, bought for me.
thank you for saying yes, for giving me the chance to love you.
thank you for everything.
i love you, still.

it's amazing how sometimes people get so blinded, so lost, so pathetic,
when they lose something so precious to them.
so much so that they lose sight of everything else.
family and friends, the memories they shared, the joy and the sorrow,
all blinded.
but i thank god for how he made us to be.
to let time take us by,
and let us regain sight of what truly is important,
and heal us of the pain we thought was forever.

what has happened between us,
it's not something new to me.
i've been heart broken before,
i've been blinded and lost before too.
but none as painful as this.
none as overwhelming as this.
but then,
time still brought me thru,
for me to see things in a different light.

..
i guess i've grown up a little bit now. =p

it's amazing what promises do to people.
man makes promises all too often
that everyone loses sight of the significance in it.
and i too am guilty of that, i admit.
but now i see, how precious a promise is.
no matter how big or small the promise is,
it is still a promise.
when one makes a promise,
one must and will do whatever it takes to fufill that promise,
no matter what.
even if it costs him, his life.


i may have fallen about a dozen times too many before,
but believe me,
i will stand on my two own feet again,
and show you,
i am strong enough.
i will show you that my love for you is til the end.
and please don't feel bad for me being nice to you.
i'm doing all this not only because i really want to,
but it is because i made a promise.

the promise of my love,
for this lifetime,
and many more lifetimes to come.

life as i know it,
or as anyone knows it for me,
will never be the same again ..

as i watched you grow from a silent corner,
you grew into a cute young lady.
your character changed,
your beliefs changed.
...

but it didnt matter much,
because i love you, for who you were,
and even who you are now,
or who you're gonna become in the near future.
i'll still love you. i promise, with my life..

after this breakup,
i know things are never gonna be the same again.
but like i told you today,
i'll still take care of you,
dote on you,
love you,
like i always used to.
but it'll only be until you get your next boyfriend..

even thou you still want me to after that,
i can't..
nobody can get everything they want..
like me, who couldn't have the love of my life ..
hah.
and i just can't face you or that other him.
how am i sposed to ?
how can i ever ?
im sorry im not that strong.

-------------

oh well, ..
it looks like you're going on with life well,
without us or we.
now that its just you or me,
i guess all i can say is,
im glad for you,
but i feel so pathetic...
lols.. pathetic..

goodday world.
how i wish i'd just sleep forever on this public holiday..
i dont wanna wake up anymore..

ihateyouhiro.