if i have been overly nice,
it doesnt mean i wont flare.

why does everyone flame me with false accusations and assumptions.
if this is all i am to any of you,
dont call me your friend.
because if i had friends like these,
wtf do i need enemies for ?

oh why the fuck am i wasting my time on this.
if you're think you're so correct,
then just stay that way . =o

foad.

a song so close to my heart.



(: enjoy.

ARGHHHHHHHHH !

no cny clothes,
no new table.
no nothing.

i hate hate hate hate hate everything!
ASDFK !

and he said,
wow, you sure have a way in dealing with girls.

and i said,
whats the use when the girl i loved the most
is the only one i couldnt keep by my side.

and i teared.

how hopelessly dumb can i be ?
each time i silently wait.
each time i subtly try.
and i thought i meant something.
i thought i held such a high position.
and how each time you cruelly prove me wrong.

i hate you for the words you said before the goodbyes.
because none of them was true.
i hate you for making me do things i didn't agree with before the goodbyes.
because i still regret every bit until now.
i hate you for this heartache i experience every night.
because of the words you said before the goodbyes.
i hate you for what i am and what i have become.
because of the things i did before our last goodbye.

i hate, that i love you.

because at the end of the day,
you cared for me none more than a stranger would..

-------------

thank you lisheng for taking his time off to help me with the blogskin.
it was originally only seen as "BOX" MO (BOY)
now you can see, SO EMO behind the box and the boy.
so thank you =D

shanMAMA just asked me to do this godly quiz thing.
so here are my results !

What Matsui Toshihiro Means

You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated. You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want. You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way! You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life. You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home. You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble. You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong. You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know. You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do. You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way. And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life. You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life. You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you. At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself. You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out. Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia. Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person. You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something. You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense. You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

well now, it's been awhile since i've updated.
but im still not really in the mood for something like this but whatever.

changed my blogskin (finally).
totally spells the way i feel.
i can't help but feel this way no matter how hard i try.
and i really wanna thank a few significant people in my life
for being there for me, when i really needed it.

shan, thank you for always listening to what i have to say and talk to me about it. and also for sharing your problems with me. making everything feels more mutual. i totally appreciate your presence in my life. thankyou! mamaftw*!

jb, for just being there to accompany me. to always remind me to keep my cool. to always listen to what i have to say. and also sharing all ur nobo stories with me. LOL. just thankyou for even being there at all. BROTHERSFORLIFE ! xD

cass, for the wonderful company you always provide whenever i talk to you or when we meet. and always those words of encouragement at the times when i start to whine and be emo. QIANGcass ! thankyou. (:

KOH, LEO, DA,
for all the times we played together, slacked together, and share our problems. wonderful times that i will keep with me through to my dying day. BLOODBROTHERS! LOL.

and that's all the thanks i can give for now. because these are the people that make me feel that i will never be forgotten.

and to this d*ck who thinks he knows it all,
f u c k y o u (:
dont say you understand me when you dont even have the slightest idea of what i'm going through. and if you truly did understand me, you dont give me those dogcraps. so please, dont act like you know me, when you dont even know yourself.

PurestOfPain

Sorry didn't mean to call you but I couldn't fight it
I guess I was weak, couldn't even hide it
And so I surrendered, just to hear your voice.
(just to hear your voice)

Don't know how many times I said I'm gonna live without you,
And maybe someone else is standing there beside you,
But there's something, baby you need to know.

That deep inside me,
I feel like I'm dying.
I have to see you,
It's all that I'm asking.

Vida
Give me back my fantasy.
The courage that I need to live,
The air that I breathe.
Cariño mio
My world's become so empty.
My days are so cold and lonely
And each night I taste the
Purest of pain.

I wish I could tell you I'm feeling better everyday
That I didn't hurt when you walked away
But to tell you the truth I can't find my way.

That deep inside me, I feel like I'm dying.
I have to see you,It's all that I'm asking.

Vida
Give me back my fantasy.
The courage that I need to live,
The air that I breathe.
Cariño mio
My world's become so empty.
My days are so cold and lonely
And each night I taste the
Purest of pain.

Vida
Give me back my fantasy. (my fantasy)
The courage that I need to live, (to live)
The air that I breathe.
Cariño mio
My world's become so empty.
My days are so cold and lonely
And each night I taste the
Purest of pain.
(Vida
Give me back my fantasy.
The courage that I need to live,
The air that I breathe.)

Sorry didn't mean to call you but I couldn't fight it
I guess I was weak, couldn't even hide it
And so I surrendered, just to hear your voice.