爱依旧不变
只是偶尔,
你我都看走了方向.

arhh.
with the blink of an eye,
a hundred days just passed me by.

time could never have been any faster.
even when sometimes i wish time would stand still.
it moved on with everything and everyone else in life.

im glad god gave me life,
even if his main purpose for me to be here,
was just for this hundred days,
i thank whoever is up there.
cause this 100 days were one of the best 100 days of my life.
=D

goodnights world.
im off to bed,
and on to ippt tmr.
wish me luck.
i hope i dont die running halfway =x
hehe.

life has to paths.

-- the sane path -->

and yep, im right here.

-- the insane path -->

stuck between two paths.
and everybody's forcing me to take my pick.
there's so much pressure,
i think i falling lower to the insane pathe.

bring me up, or let me fall,
please, just dont leave me hanging.
the agony of being caught between two worlds,
the pain that's tearing me apart,
is unbearable.
help, all i need is help.


..

if only.
if only ..

nothing much really happened recently ..

i've been sick,
feeling terrible x.x
damn i hate that feeling.
and my weekend is coming to an end.
-_- ..

6 more mths to go before i get outta this hellhole.
=.= .. i swear, this ns thing is just a waste of time.
i have nothing to do everyday but to go to the office,
sit down and stare into space,
thinking of what i could have done,
if only i wasnt there ..

dammit.

having too much free time is bad for your mind.
you start having the worst thoughts.
thoughts that could make you do things you'd come to regret.
thoughts that could destroy everything you've tried so hard to build up.
damn i hate my life now.
i swear i fcuking hate it.
but there's nothing i can do ..

you know, actually,
maybe there is something i can do,
but, for some reason,
i can't. i just god damn CAN'T.
dont ask me why, i wish i knew too. -.-

-------------

time and again,
these words infront of me,
they give me strength,
yet sometimes they make me wanna die.

why am i what i am,
what could i have been if i wasn't me,
what difference would it make,
oh someone please tell me,
i really wish to know.

i've never felt like this before,
this dilemma im in,
its killing me, crushing me,

..

ARGH FOR FCUKS SAKE GOD,
WOULD YOU PLEASE JUST LEND ME A HELPING HAND?!
CAN'T YOU TELL IM DESPERATE?!
DAMN !
amen ? ..

-------------

pardon my language,
but everything's been coming down on me,
bit by bit, piece by piece,
and i thought,
OHHH, its nothing, it'll pass,
i can handle it.
oh good job hiro,
cos YOU THOUGHT WRONG !

- hi hiro,

you just got owned by me! ^^

love, your ego. -

a man with no truth, no courage, NOTHING.

oh how i despise you,
and yet in the midst of it all,

...

there is nothing i can do.



tit for tat is fair play,
or so i thought.
it is time to look from a different point of view.

see with my eyes,
feel with my skin,
listen with my ears.

i wish i could mirror you back.

i am what i am today because of what i did and what i didnt do.
i hate myself for what i am today.

in fact,
i've never really liked myself from the start.
i've always known it yet i never bothered.
what am i now ?
what have i become ?

i've never been good with words,
or expressing myself.

i've never had a heart big enough,
to hold more than what others could.

i've never hated myself more than i can now,
simply because of what i did.

i've never in my life thought it would happen again,
yet it did, and now i regret.

why am i living my life with so many regrets.
why can't i be like everyone else.
why do i always have to screw everything up.
why am i what i am.

tonight is the night,
where the world shows no lights.
but even so, i feel like there is no place to hide.
my shame, my guilt, my pain, my regrets.
i hate myself for what i am.

would you save me from the man that i've become,
or choose to leave, and let me be.
i don't wanna live like this anymore.
i don't wanna be a burden to my family,
my friends, the one i love, the society.
im gonna change all that tonight.
i swear.

tonight,
i beg for forgivness from you,
and i hope you do,
but not because you can't help it,
but because you want to.


my fate,
my destiny,
my own two hands,
i will create.

a path to where the light shines,
to where all good men go,
to where i will belong.

i love you, and there's no denying that.
for it is you that brings me hope,
who gives me strength to carry on.
only you and no one else.