i am what i am today because of what i did and what i didnt do.
i hate myself for what i am today.

in fact,
i've never really liked myself from the start.
i've always known it yet i never bothered.
what am i now ?
what have i become ?

i've never been good with words,
or expressing myself.

i've never had a heart big enough,
to hold more than what others could.

i've never hated myself more than i can now,
simply because of what i did.

i've never in my life thought it would happen again,
yet it did, and now i regret.

why am i living my life with so many regrets.
why can't i be like everyone else.
why do i always have to screw everything up.
why am i what i am.

tonight is the night,
where the world shows no lights.
but even so, i feel like there is no place to hide.
my shame, my guilt, my pain, my regrets.
i hate myself for what i am.

would you save me from the man that i've become,
or choose to leave, and let me be.
i don't wanna live like this anymore.
i don't wanna be a burden to my family,
my friends, the one i love, the society.
im gonna change all that tonight.
i swear.

tonight,
i beg for forgivness from you,
and i hope you do,
but not because you can't help it,
but because you want to.


my fate,
my destiny,
my own two hands,
i will create.

a path to where the light shines,
to where all good men go,
to where i will belong.

i love you, and there's no denying that.
for it is you that brings me hope,
who gives me strength to carry on.
only you and no one else.