i have so much i want to say.
yet im so flooded by it,
that i can't put anything into words,
or form a sentence out of any of it.

but i really want to say sorry,
my most heartfelt apologies to the one i've hurt the most.
i know it's hard to believe if anything i did in the past was real.
but there's nothing i can do to prove it.
i know it deep in my heart that yes,
although i made a mistake,
but i loved you, with all of me, really.
even though, it all sounds fake,
and i know there's nothing i can do to atone for my sins.
but i just wanna say that i'm really really sorry
to have hurt you to this extent.
it hurts me too,
to see you in pain,
to see you tormented by what i did.
everytime i think about it,
not a moment goes by that doesn't make me feel like killing myself.
this is my only biggest, greatest regret in my life.
one that i will bring with me to my grave.

and i also wanna thank you.
for being ever so forgiving.
for still believing in me.
for still having to bear with your pain
and still face me at the same time.
thank you for everything that you've done for me.
and i really really appreciate and treasure
what's left of us.
and i wanna start from square one again
and build this whole thing back up,
with love, trust and honesty.

i've been thinking alot these days thou.
stuff that i cannot really put into words.
so i'll keep that for next time.

so with this,
i wanna say sorry mfl.
and thank you for all that you've done for me,
and all the sacrifices you've made.
i love you my sbg.