This is my life.

2008-08-15T21:47:00.003+08:00

the death of one blog,
brings life to the next.
and my legacy will live on.

move liao !
http://iamthe-remotecontrol.blogspot.com

=D

2008-06-28T01:38:00.002+08:00

people always only know something someone does is right or wrong,
but no one ever goes one step deeper to think,
WHY ?

you say you think too much ?
SURE ! you think too much of those fkpointless stuff.

people these days all brainspoil ?

ggnorekthxbye.

2008-06-12T02:08:00.002+08:00

i've kept it in for quite sometime.
trying to hold back my emotions for abit.
and i've failed terribly !

i miss you baby !
all i do the days you were gone,
were thinking of you,
again and again,
waiting for your calls,
or your smses.
i miss you like crazy !
oh please just come back already !!
T_T

damn the sportsclub nerds who came up with the lame idea.
going genting. pfft.
RAWRRR !

come back soon baby.
i miss you,
and i'm still waiting for you here back in singapore.
i love you. (:

<3melsweeeeee !

2008-06-09T23:46:00.003+08:00

=D i'm moving soon ! (my blog i mean.) xD
when i find a nice nice name and a nice nice skin !

-talks to self. "HAIIII, i hope someone will be kind enough to make a skin for me !"

HEHE.

<3melsweeeeee !

byebye !! =D

Super Star Avenue, May 25 2007 蕭敬騰(1) vs 楊宗緯(2) (新不了情)

2008-05-24T06:15:00.001+08:00

and lastly, my current favourite song. ^^

心若倦了泪也干了
这份深情难舍难了
曾经拥有天荒地老
已不见你暮暮与朝朝
这一份情永远难了
原来时还能再度拥抱
爱一个人如何死守到老
怎样面对一切我不知道
回忆过去痛苦的相思忘不了
为何你还来拨动我心跳
爱你怎么能了今夜的你应该明了
愿难了情难了

李玖哲 - 围墙 [ 完整版]

2008-05-24T06:13:00.001+08:00

another song i like.
lyrics already clearly seen in the mv. (:

Gary 曹格 - 無辜 MV Full Version

2008-05-24T06:11:00.001+08:00

也许这是最后的考验
当我再度遇见了你
是命运捆绑了我们
还是爱情相信了记忆

你的欺骗没有让我掉下眼泪
爱本善变的痛楚并非你的罪

爱是无辜的风筝
拉着最在乎的人
情已逝我还在
注定一个人流浪

爱是断线的风筝
挣脱一开始的梦
黑暗中一步步的坠落红尘

给不起的是你的天真
为了他你学会否认
不承认你给过青春
曾经爱过我的每一分

我多伤心宁成全你和他的吻
只好对自己的痛楚不负责任

爱是无辜的风筝
拉着最在乎的人
情已逝我还在
注定一个人流浪

爱是断线的风筝
挣脱一开始的梦
黑暗中一步步的坠落红尘
无法挽救的温存

我是残破的风筝
宁愿在遥远的天空
看你转过身决定去实现你和他的承诺

爱是无辜的风筝
拉着最在乎的人
情已逝我还在
注定一个人流浪

爱是断线的风筝
挣脱一开始的梦
黑暗中一步步的坠落红尘

也许这是最后的考验
当我再度遇见了你

2008-05-22T19:57:00.002+08:00

i feel so tainted,
so ugly, so dirty.
all my life, i've been making the wrong choices,
and then paying dearly for each wrong step that i took.
for once, i want to make the right choice,
just for once, pick something that i will never regret.

how i wish.

2008-05-22T02:04:00.000+08:00

i always thought that when you talk to people about stuff,
you tend to be more clear about what to do.
but even after doing so,
i feel just as stuck as ever.

help.

2008-05-20T22:41:00.000+08:00

to melswee,
i spent a whole night saying more sorry's than ever,
and it didn't even make me feel a tad bit better.
i'm sorry things had to turn out this way,
and i know you've been giving all you can.
please know that it isn't your fault
what turned out to be how it is right now.
you've been a great friend and a really good girlfriend.
i couldn't ask more from you, and i really appreciate all that you've done.
so thankyou for everything.
goodluck with life. thank you.

-------------

today was just another boring day with nothing much to blog about!
the only thing i think worth mentioning is that,
hmmmmm, i've been playing basketball again xD
trying to lose those really extra pounds. ~~
T_T
so yupp !
goodnight and goodday. (:

2008-05-06T21:48:00.000+08:00

okay ! im gonna blog a long long entry today. but since i have no blood going to my brain, this entry is just gonna sound something like this. oh and anyway, the reason why i have no blood in my brain is because my WONDERFUL girlfriend, who is NOT stubborn, introed me to some very WONDERFUL restaurant at CHIJMES. =d

i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee! i love melswee!

(: hehehe. goodnight people.

LOL.

2008-05-03T06:42:00.000+08:00

D I S A P P O I N T E D

not in the best of moods to talk about something like that,
but its almost 7 am and
me not being able to sleep says something.

z.

2008-04-13T01:30:00.000+08:00

it's not my fault that the whole place was so noisy.
and i really hate it when someone blames me for something i cannot control.
and it's really not that i don't wanna give you just 10 mins of my time.
but you didn't have to shout.

but i'm still sorry that i didn't call you back.
it just slipped my mind, with so many things going on around me.
and i wasn't exactly very enthu about calling you back when
you just blamed me for something i can't control.
sorry.

-------------

if only you knew,
baby, i miss you so.
goodnight. <3

2008-04-08T00:26:00.000+08:00

i feel like alot has been hidden from me.

2008-04-06T05:20:00.000+08:00

absence makes the heart grow fonder .. MY ASS.

it makes me feel like
eating with my nose.
drinking with my ears.
breathing with my eyes.
see with my mouth.

#@$#^%!@$@!#$%$%@#$!@

JAPAN IS FUN.
SINGAPORE SUCKS.

!$#%%&$#@%!@#%@

IF I COULD KILL SOMEONE NOW,
IT'D BE THIS DOOD FROM CABAL.
I'D HIT HIM SO HARD HIS MOM WOULDN'T RECOGNISE HIM.
fuctup.

#@$#@%!$%#^T!%@$#

=.= dunno what to blog. super sian.
ahhhhhhhhh.
GOODNIGHT. PEWPEW.

#@$!@%!$%@#%$#@%!@#$%!#@$#@$%!$#@#@$%@#$$#@!$^$%!$
@%#@%*(&!@$*#@%$#&%#&&!(@#*$@#($&%$&!#@($&#@$(#@$&@
!@#$#$^$%&^(^&%%&*%^$#%$#@%%^$#%!@$!@$(#$&@(%!$#(&$(

2008-03-24T21:36:00.000+08:00

silent i shall remain.

2008-03-01T06:03:00.000+08:00

it's been so long since i actually put something in here.
but since i feel a need to write something,
and so i shall.

well, it's already 6 and i'm still awake.
i tried to sleep but there's like this thing in my head.
this thing that keeps reminding me of things.
things that i thought i could pass off as something random.
well ! i guess some things are just a little too much to handle for me.

ahfuckla
sometimes i just wish i was blind.

blessed are these pair of eyes bestowed upon me.
yet sometimes, i wish i was blind.
sight is sometimes a torment.

2008-02-19T15:19:00.001+08:00

1 is for the common birthdate number we share;
2 is for the number less than 3;
3 is for the words i love you and;
4 is the length of time i will give my love to you.

(: and this is for you.

2008-02-19T03:06:00.000+08:00

-blanked.

i so wanna blog but so out of topics to talk about. T_T

so i'm just gonna dedicate this to my sweenehneh ! LOL.

thankyou for everything, love ! (:

i <3>u
baby

neh²

sounds familiar ? =p

2008-02-16T04:39:00.001+08:00

LOL !
lux made this super LOL dota story !
here it is !

2008-02-11T06:07:00.000+08:00

wow. it's 6am leh ! -_-
i just finished mahjonging and i have school later !
AHHHHHHH. super sian ah. -_-

okay anyway,
OMGWTFBBQ,
I GOT A SUPER IMBA PHONE :D

XPRESSMUSIC NOKIA 5310 !

JUST PWNS EVERYTHING.
TYTYTY !

then after that, go buy handphone pouch.
then after that go watch some KANG HU DUNKU !
SUPER LOL SHOW. but ... =.=
HALFWAY THROUGH THE SHOW,
I SUPER SUPER SUPER URGENT.
WAHHHHHHHH.
THEN WANNA LAUGH CANNOT LAUGH.
SIT ALSO CANNOT SIT PROPERLY. LOL.
show finish instant stand up and chiong toilet !
HENG NO NEED LINE UP. IF NOT I THINK ..
MY JEANS GONNA BE WET -_-..
okayyy !
then after that went to eat jigenlice. xD
hmm not as nice as the first time i had it leh.
but okay lah.
then after that,
become super super bored + tired + sian + everything bad.
so i came up with the imba suggestion to go to my place !
which i feel so oh my godly right at.
xDD
then the SUPER SMART MELSWEEmeishan
keep playing with my dog.
BUT TOO BAD, LINA IS MY <3 !
you can't snatch away from me :D.
UR SMART BUT NOT AS LOVEABLE AS ME !
ARHAHAHAHAHAHA.

okay lah. then after that she go home liao.
then jb they all come with his friends liao.
then play mahjong liao.
then lose 30 dollars liao. T______________T
then they go home liao.
then now i here blogging liao.
then going to sleep now liao.
byebye liao.
lazy liao.
hiro liao liao liao.
xD
0622 liao.

BYE !

2008-02-07T23:28:00.000+08:00

my cny imba enlightenment.

and when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.

OKAY. IT'S TAKEN FROM A SONG. xD
but it doesnt matter.
the song is just imba.
and i'm feeling rather hostile.
and so this 4 lines is the mood i'm in now !

let see.
LIFE UPDATE.

EAT EAT EAT.
MAHJONG MAHJONG MAHJONG.
TAKE ANG BAO x3.

DONE.
LOL.
suddenly feel super lazy.
not much mood.
WHAT A BORING CNY !
AND ITS GETS WORSE EACH YEAR. LOL.
SIAN AHHHHHHHHHHH.

PEWPEW GONE.
VERY LONG NV DOTA AH !
SOMEONE PLAY WITH ME LEH ! T_T

2008-02-05T02:45:00.001+08:00

i've always said to my friends,

GIRLS ARE TROUBLESOME.

but when i come to think of it,
it's the girls in our lives that makes us sensitive to certain things.
it's the female presence that make us more aware of our actions.
and its true that each gender is unable to live solely on it own.
TROUBLESOME BUT UNABLE TO LIVE WITHOUT !
God is soooooooooo cruel. LOL.

on a more random note,
i realise that ..
WOW, who said i couldn't control my emotions well.
i'm pro !

:D zaijian.
super bo liao post but who cares. =.=
i just felt like writing it down.
PEWPEW.

2008-02-01T00:26:00.000+08:00

today ahhh. is urmmm. friday hah?
ehhhh. then horrr. i veli happy leh !
you know why anot ? -LAUGHS DAMN LOUDLY.
u know hor ! hor hor hor !
urhh... eh ? what i want to say har.....
-thinks for awhile.
OH YAH LAH. -LAUGHS LOUDLY AGAIN.
today hor! horhorhor!
is the las day ofp my esam leh !

-------------

YAYYY.
no more exams !
just one more day.
and im done !
DONE WITH THIS TORTUREEEEEEEE.

REALLY

HATE

EXAMS.

PEWPEW.

so wish me luck and all the best,

for i shall pawn those markers and pass my exam.

OH GOD PLS MAKE THOSE MARKERS BLIND TO MY MISTAKES.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ! THEN LET ME PASS ALL. I DOWAN RETAKE LEH.

VERY EXPENSIVE ONE YOU KNOW !

AH MAN ! PEWPEW.

2008-01-26T13:27:00.000+08:00

if i have been overly nice,
it doesnt mean i wont flare.

why does everyone flame me with false accusations and assumptions.
if this is all i am to any of you,
dont call me your friend.
because if i had friends like these,
wtf do i need enemies for ?

oh why the fuck am i wasting my time on this.
if you're think you're so correct,
then just stay that way . =o

foad.

2008-01-23T19:27:00.000+08:00

a song so close to my heart.

(: enjoy.

2008-01-22T01:48:00.000+08:00

ARGHHHHHHHHH !

no cny clothes,
no new table.
no nothing.

i hate hate hate hate hate everything!
ASDFK !

2008-01-18T23:26:00.000+08:00

and he said,
wow, you sure have a way in dealing with girls.

and i said,
whats the use when the girl i loved the most
is the only one i couldnt keep by my side.

and i teared.

2008-01-17T06:04:00.000+08:00

how hopelessly dumb can i be ?
each time i silently wait.
each time i subtly try.
and i thought i meant something.
i thought i held such a high position.
and how each time you cruelly prove me wrong.

i hate you for the words you said before the goodbyes.
because none of them was true.
i hate you for making me do things i didn't agree with before the goodbyes.
because i still regret every bit until now.
i hate you for this heartache i experience every night.
because of the words you said before the goodbyes.
i hate you for what i am and what i have become.
because of the things i did before our last goodbye.

i hate, that i love you.

because at the end of the day,
you cared for me none more than a stranger would..

-------------

thank you lisheng for taking his time off to help me with the blogskin.
it was originally only seen as "BOX" MO (BOY)
now you can see, SO EMO behind the box and the boy.
so thank you =D

2008-01-15T22:58:00.001+08:00

shanMAMA just asked me to do this godly quiz thing.
so here are my results !

What Matsui Toshihiro Means

You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated.
You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want.
You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way!

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.
You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.
You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.
You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.
You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way.
And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.
You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.
You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.
At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

2008-01-14T19:41:00.000+08:00

well now, it's been awhile since i've updated.
but im still not really in the mood for something like this but whatever.

changed my blogskin (finally).
totally spells the way i feel.
i can't help but feel this way no matter how hard i try.
and i really wanna thank a few significant people in my life
for being there for me, when i really needed it.

shan, thank you for always listening to what i have to say and talk to me about it. and also for sharing your problems with me. making everything feels more mutual. i totally appreciate your presence in my life. thankyou! mamaftw*!

jb, for just being there to accompany me. to always remind me to keep my cool. to always listen to what i have to say. and also sharing all ur nobo stories with me. LOL. just thankyou for even being there at all. BROTHERSFORLIFE ! xD

cass, for the wonderful company you always provide whenever i talk to you or when we meet. and always those words of encouragement at the times when i start to whine and be emo. QIANGcass ! thankyou. (:

KOH, LEO, DA,
for all the times we played together, slacked together, and share our problems. wonderful times that i will keep with me through to my dying day. BLOODBROTHERS! LOL.

and that's all the thanks i can give for now. because these are the people that make me feel that i will never be forgotten.

and to this d*ck who thinks he knows it all,
f u c k y o u (:
dont say you understand me when you dont even have the slightest idea of what i'm going through. and if you truly did understand me, you dont give me those dogcraps. so please, dont act like you know me, when you dont even know yourself.

PurestOfPain

2008-01-01T02:15:00.001+08:00

Sorry didn't mean to call you but I couldn't fight it
I guess I was weak, couldn't even hide it
And so I surrendered, just to hear your voice.
(just to hear your voice)

Don't know how many times I said I'm gonna live without you,
And maybe someone else is standing there beside you,
But there's something, baby you need to know.

That deep inside me,
I feel like I'm dying.
I have to see you,
It's all that I'm asking.

Vida
Give me back my fantasy.
The courage that I need to live,
The air that I breathe.
Cariño mio
My world's become so empty.
My days are so cold and lonely
And each night I taste the
Purest of pain.

I wish I could tell you I'm feeling better everyday
That I didn't hurt when you walked away
But to tell you the truth I can't find my way.

That deep inside me, I feel like I'm dying.
I have to see you,It's all that I'm asking.

Vida
Give me back my fantasy.
The courage that I need to live,
The air that I breathe.
Cariño mio
My world's become so empty.
My days are so cold and lonely
And each night I taste the
Purest of pain.

Vida
Give me back my fantasy. (my fantasy)
The courage that I need to live, (to live)
The air that I breathe.
Cariño mio
My world's become so empty.
My days are so cold and lonely
And each night I taste the
Purest of pain.
(Vida
Give me back my fantasy.
The courage that I need to live,
The air that I breathe.)

Sorry didn't mean to call you but I couldn't fight it
I guess I was weak, couldn't even hide it
And so I surrendered, just to hear your voice.

2007-12-30T04:38:00.000+08:00

everyday i put on a brave front,
masking this agony from even my closest friends.
but who am i kidding,
how can you fool anyone when you're feeling so miserable.
LOL.
jokesjokesjokes.
IM GONNA BLOW.
SAVE ME.
PLEASE.
SOMEONE,
ANYONE.

and to this certain person who wants to help,
im sorry but you're the only person who can't.
i'm sure you know who you are. <37.

2007-12-22T02:22:00.000+08:00

and you said i didnt try hard enough.
and you said words just doesnt quite cut it.

and so i made words into actions.
and i tried so that you would believe.

but after all thats said and done.
all thats left is me without you.

so what's the use.
to hell with love, life and all that crap.
screw this world and everything in it.

goodbyeandgoodnight. __ (:

2007-12-20T03:50:00.000+08:00

~~不埋怨,不多说~~

~~爱你最后的结果~~

~~我也不想懂~~

~~我也不在乎~~

~~什么天长地久,~~

~~就只要好好的爱你~~

~~那我也心满意足了~~

~~嘿! 姓黄的.~~

~~我是真的真的真的很爱你! xD~~

2007-12-10T22:35:00.000+08:00

i have no words to describe what i just read.
all i can say is,
wow.

2007-12-03T23:23:00.000+08:00

and at last,
i fall..

2007-12-02T23:17:00.000+08:00

i need to write.
i need to let it out.

why do this fingers not listen to my command,
why do they not do as willed.

help.
i need help.

2007-11-29T06:06:00.001+08:00

so many words,
so many emotions.

i wish i could put it all down in words,
but i am afraid.
i am unable.

my world is grey..

2007-11-25T02:47:00.000+08:00

as the sun sets upon this weary land,
my heart sinks with her to the very bottom.
with much uncertainties that lay ahead,
still i must walk this path, to wherever it may lead.

what happened to that guiding light that shone so brightly.
what happened to the roads that were once so well-paved.

-------------

strong as one may be,
not one could destroy all that they love.
even to his dying breathe,
he would stand and protect them with all that he has.

-------------

i am what i am.
i am unable.

2007-11-24T02:13:00.000+08:00

and so he says he's strong.
and so he says he's 'man'.
and so he says he's good.
and so he says he's all that,
but he's not.

somewhere along the way,
he's gonna lose it.
somewhere along this path,
he's gonna fall.
somewhere along this life,
he's gonna breakdown and die.

...

2007-11-23T02:25:00.000+08:00

MENTAL NOTE: -

it's true that people change time after time.
soon enough, friends leave, close ones part.
for one reason or another,
it's inevitable,
it's part of life.

but suddenly you see people blaming one another,
because they've changed.
because they weren't there for you when you needed them.
because they promised a friendship that's forever,
but never did manage to keep them.

then again,
they change too without even noticing it.
they never took the time to self reflect.
but so what if they did ?
they would still point fingers,
they would still blame.
it's all just human nature.
the ugly side of man.

life was never about blaming each other for changes,
but trying to be there to support your family and friends,
to go through with such changes.
life was never just about you.
it's how you accept or reject these changes.
so tell me now, who's to blame when life as you've always known,
starts to change ?
(here we go again. who's to blame for this and that.)

2007-11-15T01:35:00.000+08:00

a night filled with emotions,
with not one word to fit the description.
i tried with the limited vocabulary i have,
and this was the only thing i could come up with.

broken.

2007-11-13T19:41:00.000+08:00

and now !

for ONIONHEADBOY again :D

SEMESTER I PART II

-------------

"BRRRRIIIINNNNNNNNNG" (Class is starting..)

OnionHeadBoy: shit shit shit ! bell ring liao ! faster find seat !

.. and he finally found one behind her instead ! (how lucky.)

Teacher: Good Morning class. Today we're gonna talk about ...
Teacher: ...........................

Teacher: .......................................................................
Teacher: .......................................... (This lesson is SOOOO one way.)
Teacher: .................................
Teacher: .......... . . . . . . . . (LOL. okay okay. I'll stop. =x)

"BRRRRRIIIIIIINNNNNNNNGGGGGGG" (SCHOOL ENDS!)

Teacher: Thank you class, and remember to hand up your assignments coming monday !
OnionHeadBoy: Thank god ! i thought this class was gonna go on forever.

OnionHeadBoy: AHA ! CHANCE ! (to talk to MsRight of course)

so OnionHeadBoy snuck up right behind MsRight and tapped her on the shoulder.

OnionHeadBoy: Hi ! Urmm, i'm OnionHeadBoy ! :D

MsRight: (stunned) ...

MsRight regained her posture and ..

MsRight: Oh right! Hi ! I'm MsRight. -PEACE. (LOL. the long awaited photo of MsRight. Honestly, were you expecting something any different from Mr OnionHeadBoy over there?)

and so, they went on blabbering about themselves ..

blah blah blah blah blah..

not long after, they found themselves sitting in the park,

at 8pm with nobody around.

OnionHeadBoy: (Ohhh, i so wanna tell her how much i wanna be with her lehh!)
MsRight: (Come on boy, just say it ! I'll say yes ! Just make A SOUND FOR GODS SAKE!)

so OnionHeadBoy decided to pluck up all his courage and pop the question !

OnionHeadBoy: Urhh... So, MsRight, will you .. Urhh.

MsRight: .. yes yes, i will ! (LOL. indeed. as long as he makes a sound.)

Well well, so this concludes the end of Part Two :D

what a nice end to it. LOL.

To Be Continued...

2007-11-11T01:30:00.000+08:00

as i stood at the side of that busy road,
i just watched silently as you move further away,
and then i walked off, back home.

the backview of you just breaks me from within.

2007-11-09T22:06:00.000+08:00

with the last of my strength gathered,
i stood and fought til i could, no longer.
and with my final breath, i breathed goodbye.

death always seems like the easy way out.

2007-11-08T14:08:00.000+08:00

OKAY NOW FOR GENTING DAY TWO AND THREEEEEE.

hmmm, plans for day two were,
go breakfast and then to the theme park.
and then to KL !
and here's what i did with the plans !
breakfast ? check.
theme park ? NOT. sleep. too sick too tired. -_-
KL ? check.

so, i went to breakfast with them.
and i ate rice and curry chicken in the morning !
and when im not feeling too good.
then tio pwn alr =.= ..
lols !
after that we go back to room and clear stomach !
cos going theme park =x LOL.
but i didnt go in the end.
too sick -____- although damn wasted but
i'd rather go to KL than go theme park.
so i went to sleep and told them to call me once they're ready.
:D

AHA so here comessss KL ! :"D
my friends booked a mini van to bring us there and back.
it costs like 45rm to go there and back.
which means its about 10 dollars per person lahh.
quite worth it.
he dropped us off at urh, petaling jaya ?
like the msia chinatown =d
we went in there and walked str8 thru to the other side ! =x
never bought anything at first.
cos we were going to times square x_x
and and thats the first time i took a msia mrt ! >"<
SO COOL. LOL.
the seats is like all metal one !
then when u sit on it,
and get up after awhile,
got water vapour on the chair ! =x
like certain parts of it. =x LOL.
yah yah. then after that we walked to times square,
the quicksliver boutique just for my fren to buy a wallet.
OMG LAH. WE WALKED DAMN FAR LEH ! -_-
even after the MRT.
walk there i alr sian 1/2.
then when he buy finish wallet,
WE STILLLLL HAVE TO WALLKKKKK BACK TO PETALING JAYA.
OH MY GOD LEH.
LOL. i walk until reach back there, i wanted to go back str8 -_-
=x
anyway, so when we reached back there. it was only 5+
and we planned to go back after 10 =.=
but it was too early and we can't be walking in there for 5 hours right?!
so we decided to call the driver and change the time to 8pm come pick us up instead :D
so i started walking in there -_- ..
WAH. alot of thing to buy.
WAH. so little money.
WAH. sian =.=.=.=.= ! LOL.
so anyway, i bought a couple of things for tcgitw ! XD
shoes and belts and bags and such =D
very lazy to elaborate on the whole buying process. -___-
but it was.. CHAOTIC IN THERE. i swear !
LOL. so after that, we boarded the buss and go home.
and they kept singing malay songs on the way back
actually quite nice. =x but i dunno how to sing.
rawr. so after we got back to genting.
we went to starbucks for a drink ..
and guess what?
I FELL ASLEEP ON THE SOFA CHAIR HAHAHAHAAHA.
=x
i am one imba sleeper -_-..
but really very tired. walk damn alot leh ! Z. -_-
aiyahh ! that's about the end of that day alr ! x_x

THEN DAY THREE IS GO HOME DAY !
YAY !

nothing much happened except that we had nasilemak for breakfast.
went back to pack ALOT of stuff -_-
and then went home lah !
ASD.
ohhh. we had seafood dinner on the way back.
FREE ONE HEHE. DAMN NICE.
xDxDxD
then after that come back sg le ~_~

yayy. genting trip gone ! =x
next post is onionheadboy again ! =x

2007-11-05T21:51:00.000+08:00

wah tio sabo by blogger -___-
i blog so long then tio delete
grrawr.

anyway, ..
IM SICK ! SHITOO !
SICK SICK SICK !
cough flu sorethroat. ._."
wah wah wah.
genting got alot of virus.
then now i tio le. =(
LOL.
okay okay.
no more whining ! xD

okay ! LETS TALK ABOUT GENTING ! =D
MUAHAHAHAHA.
i went on friday morning !
and well, basically i slept the wholeeee bus journey there.
HWAH, damn song. feel like very fast reach ! =x
okay so we went there and got our room keys,
and after that, got to our respective rooms.
roommates were assigned to us beforehand, so yeah.
i shared a room with shah.
so we went on to put our stuff down and met downstairs at the lobby.
there were 11 of us.
i cannot really rmb all their names lah,
but they were all malays lol.
so we started off by having lunch/dinner. :D
at this place called PIZZA FACTORY !
hmm, the food there quite nice. ^^
then after that, we went to take A HELL LOT OF PHOTOS.
got N SYNC shot, got BACKSTREET BOYS shot,
got YOUNG AND DANGEROUS shot. ROFL.
and we went to this place something like snowcity in sg.
LOL FREAKING COLD.
I ALMOST DIED IN THERE CAUSE I COULDNT BREATH -_-
LOL. then there was this ice slide in there !
WAH, DAMN FAST ! LOL
then u sit on this circle thing and slide down.
i cannot stop sia when reach below. -_-
i almost bang wall ! LOL.
chao xia sway ! -_-
then after that i go out le, to rest. really cannot breathe.
LOL. after come out le, take picture again !
-___-
soon after that,
we decided to go back to the hotel !
yupp, before that, went to watsons i think,
then buy toothbrush and mineral water !
cos there got no water one -_- damn louya hotel.
LOL.
then go back room SLEEP !

and then speaking of sleep, i feel damn sick now,
so i'm going to bed really soon. i continue my other two days tmr !
x_x I HATE BEING SICK !
makes me wanna put a bullet thru my head ! -_- LOL.
SO GOODNIGHTS ! xD

DIE GENTING VIRUS!
DIE SICKNESS!
DIEEEEEEE ! GRRRRRR x_x ...

2007-11-01T16:07:00.000+08:00

as flaming rocks fall from above,
and the earth shattering below.
this is how it's like when its all falling apart.

crash&burn.

2007-11-01T00:34:00.000+08:00

like a droplet within threatening clouds,
wishing i could hold the rain back just a little longer,
until you've found shelter within my embrace.

why is it only when you're alone when you wish i could be there.

2007-10-30T07:31:00.000+08:00

like a grain of sand on the blazing desert.
still wishing i could be the only grain of sand
to fight off the rest if a sandstorm should come.

but i feel so much less important now.

2007-10-30T05:17:00.000+08:00

here's a little story for everyone to laugh about.

i'm just being a little too bored here so just bear with me =p

okay let's start off by introducing the main lead !

MR ONION HEAD BOY !

-------------

SCHOOL SEMESTER I

Mom: BOY AH ! WAKE UP LIAO ! TIME FOR SCHOOL !

OnionHeadBoy: ... har ? already ? let me sleep awhile more can ? ..zzz.

*Mom grabs alarm clock and brings it to his son's face.

Mom: LOOK AT THE TIME ! GOING TO LATE LIAO LAH !

*OnionHeadBoy slowly opens his eyes to take a peek at the clock.

OnionHeadBoy: WAHHHHHHH ! LATE LIAO LAH !

.. and so OnionHeadBoy rushed to bathe and blah blah blah,

and eventually arrived at school.

so he went to class and just sat at some random seat,

and fell asleep while waiting for class to start ..

MsRight: .. ermm, excuse me, but i think you're on my seat.

OnionHeadBoy woke up and raised his head to take a look at who that was,

and OHH MYY GODD !

OnionHeadBoy: (THAT IS THEEEE MOST PREEEEETEEEST GIRL I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE ! OMGOMGOMG!)

OnionHeadBoy: urmm.. eh.. I.. you.. urmm.. hehe.. (WHAT A DORK !)

MsRight: i'm sorry, but urmm.. you're on my seat.

OnionHeadBoy: OH OH. yeah, right ! i'm sorry. you can have it back. i'll just be sitting around here.. urh.. here.. urh i mean.. yeah, just around here (BESIDE YOU !)

MsRight: thank you. (BLUSH !)

AND SO HERE COMES A WONDERFUL BEGINNING FOR MS RIGHT AND MR ONIONHEADBOY!

TO BE CONTINUED ..

------------

P.S.

words in blue is what the narrator (ME) is saying.

words in red belong to OnionHeadBoy.

words in pink belong to MsRight.

2007-10-25T15:41:00.000+08:00

this silence stayed with me during the day,
and brought me all the way thru to the night.
and just when i thought i was strong enough to withstand anything,
a rush of emotions came barging thru and washed me to my feet.
and here i was, defeated,
with nothing to hold on to,
and only silence stays be me tonight.

2007-10-23T03:51:00.000+08:00

waiting on the other side,
for a call, an sms, anything.
just any form of communication.
it was already 2.
but i still heard nothing.

my phone was silent throughout the night..

i was worried,
and i must've have called about a dozen times more.
but all it did was brought me to your voicemail.

and i continued to wait, alone on this rainy night..

when you came online,
i msn-ed you almost immediately.
asking about what happened.
and you told me you were out with a friend,
and that your phone was flat.
i could've understood but look at the time !

and then i went off to bed, trying my best to sleep..

i tossed and turned.
my bed should already be totally messed up.
but i still couldn't sleep.
so i came down, turned on the power,
and here i am typing this mess out.

and now when i see your nick online, i don't know what to say..

i was at your place tonight. waiting for you at the void deck with half a dozen of your favourite donuts. and i waited and waited until 12 midnight and i still didn't wanna go. just half an hour more.. just another 5 mins more.. and i left your place at 0040. i walked slowly, hoping that on my way to get i cab, i might catch you. but i didnt.. you knew i was waiting, and all you said was "dont wait?" .. lol. i must've made a fool outta myself.

2007-10-21T22:35:00.000+08:00

a new beginning,
a new life.
a new fire burning from within,
a new passion that burns even ice.

let the past be the past,
and leave everything behind us.
start a new life,
just you and i.
(:

2007-10-21T03:28:00.000+08:00

the gods cry tonight
as love is lost admist the chaos of the world.
they feel the pain of each individual,
and they understand.
they know our pain,
and even they cry tonight.

with lightning bolts and thunder storms,
they try with all their might to sever these ties.
to lessen our pain, to lighten our burdens,
but only to find that even the gods could not destroy love.
even the gods could not defy mother nature.

and as i close my eyes and listened to this falling rain,
listening to the gods cry for lost love,
i knew deep in my heart,
this will be my final piece to my symphony,
my dying symphony.

and this will be my final entry.
my final blog piece.
and until we meet again,
only death sits with me,
side by side ..

2007-10-19T23:04:00.000+08:00

what you don't see, still exists.
what you don't feel, isn't fake.
what you don't hear, is still said.
what you don't smell, is still in the air.

sometimes,
whatever you see isn't true.
whatever you feel isn't real.
whatever you hear are lies.
whatever you smell is simply air.

so,
don't be too quick to judge.
don't be too anxious to pass down a verdict.
search for the truth beneath the surface.
and you will find, things are never the way they seem to be.

don't expect what you cannot fufill,
and don't listen to what you can't believe.

------------

let this headache be the death of me.

2007-10-17T03:43:00.000+08:00

how i wish you could hear me now.

but how can it ever be possible..

2007-10-14T06:41:00.001+08:00

first of all,
i wanna thank each and everyone that came down to celebrate my birthday. (:

lyn - thank you for wanting to come down with me and taking care of me.
clarence - thank you for making it down and i'm sorry you had to go back after that. x_x
kenny - thank you for coming down even when you weren't in the best of moods.
bear - thank you for sharing the burden of the bill.
cina - thank you for even bothering to come down when i barely even knew you.
ahfu - thank you for making drinking more fun than it was sposed to be.
kel - thank you for turning up even right after camp.
melkoh - thank you for drinking up more of the liqour than me =p
leo - and the same goes for you too, thank you =p
xianda - thank you for making it even when ur exams are here. =D
squadmates - thank you for taking time off just to come down and i'm sorry i haven't really been much of a good host. =p
shan - thank you for turning up even when you didnt really know how to go and being alone.
gerald - thank you for taking to effort to come down even after work. (:
lux, caocao, justin - thank you for specially making this trip down just to wish me happy birthday. ((:
pearly - thank you for that 2 glasses =D even thou you were not very much around most of the time. =p
sharon - thank you for the happy birthday. (:

thank you everyone for making this day special. ((:

------------

today just isn't working well.
not for me, not for you.

i dont really know what to say at the moment,
or want to say anything at all.

there's nothing i can work out here
but a simple sorry.

...

maybe i'll just freak off and die.

2007-10-11T01:27:00.000+08:00

i was so weak,

when i should've been strong.

... uberly speechless.

2007-10-02T22:25:00.000+08:00

HAH !
school start already. ~_~

urhh, lets talk about orientation day ..
well, on the first day,
i went there @ 1230 cause that's the time it's sposed to start !
then when i got there,
one of the course advisor (?) said today is orientation day.
it starts at 1530 ! -___-
so i got damn sian and went home !
slack abit then after that i went back to school.

so this is what i did there ..
first off, we had to know the names of our our group people (3 -4)
then memorized their names and then introduce them.
after that we had some quiz thing. -_-
the first question we got,
HOW MANY HOTELS ARE THERE IN SG?! LOL.
then my group people one from india, one from philippines. -_-
but the question is MCQ.
so there's 102 112 122 132 -__-.
my india friend rajesh just shouted 102 !
LOL. and the scary part is, ITS CORRECT ! HAHAHAHA. wth right ?
anyway, yah =.= ..
blah blah, after all the questions came talent-time !
we were sposed to sing or write or draw something blah blah.
LOL.
in the end i just wrote some shit up there. =.= ..
and thats the end of the day !
hahas.

and today is first day of school proper. ^^
first module i'm doing is business operations.
and my teacher and kenny both said,
its the most difficult module so -_- GG.
yah, and the teacher like talk like .. woohoo.
catch no ball. LOLS.
yah and then the students behind me kick my chair.
then they say, BORING BORING ! LOL.
i just turn ard and YAH YAH YAH ! ROFL. bth -_-

then yupps. thats the end of school for this two days ~_~ rawr.

2007-09-26T23:28:00.000+08:00

and as time continues to take away my life by the second,
i listen to this silence around me.
and as the lids of my eye start to seal,
i see a blurred image of you infront of me.
a faint smile starts to appear on my battered face,
but wait.
why is this image of you getting smaller,
getting further away.
i tried to pull you back,
but each time i try,
you seem to go even further.
i wanted to shout for you to come back,
for you to stay by my side,
but nothing came out,
even with all the strength i gathered,
still no voice came out..
i ran for you,
but each step i took,
brings me only further and further from you.
and then,
i fell .

i opened my eyes with tears,
and an image of the backview of you.
i leaned back against the wall,
listening to this silence,
to my dying symphony.

2007-09-17T07:12:00.000+08:00

it is the kind of happiness that words cannot describe,
when you look at her in the eyes and tell her you love her,
and she smiles back at you with her sweetest smile.
it makes you so happy, tears start forming in your eyes.
you give her a peck on her lips and smile back,
while she slowly seals her eyes and rests her head on your arm.
you look at her and you think,
this has got to be the most beautiful girl in the world,
and whoever doesn't see her the way i do,
is definitely blind.
and when she leaves for home,
you start to miss her terribly.
sitting alone in the living room,
wondering how lovely it would be if you and her could live together.

if only it could be true ..

((: i miss you.

2007-09-15T22:34:00.000+08:00

burning houses,
shattered windows,
exploding cars,
defaced posters,
falling stars,
earth-shattering thunders,
armageddon is today.

i feel my world falling apart,
and i'm trapped.
i looked around only to realise,
this is what has become of my world.
hell, living hell.

2007-09-12T21:30:00.000+08:00

as the day approaches,
i count by the hours,
then by the minutes,
and then the seconds ..
and as i shouted,
they shouted together,

ORD LOH !!

(: finally,

smell it,

freedom,

pink ic.

it's over amkdhq.

aha !

2007-09-10T00:30:00.000+08:00

lols, i'm at HQ now with lyn and clarence.
and let me tell you,
if you plan on playing dota with anyone outside the lanshop,
its impossible, so dont try =O !!
lols.
=D

-stones. o.o

2007-09-05T00:46:00.000+08:00

well,
i did it again.
despite always trying to make her happy.
i pissed her off once again.
seriously,
i dont know what the.. is wrong with me.
can't i just make her happy and let it stay that way ?
why why why asdasdasd.

i'm sorry =(
and i've already done everything you mentioned..

-huggs.
loves.

2007-09-03T01:31:00.000+08:00

listen world, to what i have to say,
for this is of utmost importance.
so please take a few moments and hear me out.

i have lived 22 years of my life,
and get to know a couple of girls a little better than the rest,
but not one felt right.
not one made me feel really complete.
and after all the wrongs i did and have made,
there is only one that stood beside me no matter what,
and from that time on,
i knew she is the one.
i love you.
and i will never do you wrong again.

HEY LYNETTE,

I LOVE YOU !

this is for the world to see

and know that i really do love you.

i miss you much. (:

-huggs.

2007-09-01T23:33:00.000+08:00

if you tag on my blog ..
1. i'll respond with something random about you.
2. i'll challenge you to try something.
3. i'll pick a colour that i associate with you.
4. i'll tell you something i like about you.
5. i'll tell you my first/clearest memory about you.
6. i'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. i'll ask you something i've always wanted to ask you.
8. you must post this on yours.

i took this from lyn's blog,
and now i'm gonna do the same for everyone that tags. =D

lyn
1. omg you're so cute ! xD
2. try walking with your hands !
3. orange. (:
4. i really like you because you are you. =D
5. -pinch! T_T LOLL.
6. unicorn. (:

you have the colour, the purest of whites.
you are special, one of a kind.
you are beautiful, unmatched by any other.
you are treasured, a myth that man yearn to have.

7. i love you, love me too ? =D
8. you know what to do ! ^^

shan
1. you are so thin ! eat more. =p
2. i challenge you to a pokemon battle ! LOL.
3. white black brown ?! (:

but since i dont count white black as colors so brown!

4. you're a good listener and you give me good advices. (:
5. RAWR! lols. you always do that when u first talk to me.
6. feline kinda animal. xD
7. how friend am i to you ? =D

grace.
1. you have nice teeth now. =D
2. i challenge you to touch ur ceiling without the aid of anything !
3. orange. xD
4. thank you for always being there to hear me out. (:
5. FIERCE ! dunno why thou =x LOL.
6. soft toy ! LOL. =p you feel kinda small.
7. what's your height ? =x

2007-08-16T20:31:00.000+08:00

if only .. -
then i wouldnt .. -
but .. -
when .. -

i thought .. -
i thought .. -
but now .. -

i .. -
but i .. -

2007-08-06T00:30:00.000+08:00

the backview of you,
one i've never like to see moving away from me.

i miss you.

2007-08-01T17:20:00.000+08:00

i care.

because i love.

2007-07-31T23:20:00.000+08:00

i have so much i want to say.
yet im so flooded by it,
that i can't put anything into words,
or form a sentence out of any of it.

but i really want to say sorry,
my most heartfelt apologies to the one i've hurt the most.
i know it's hard to believe if anything i did in the past was real.
but there's nothing i can do to prove it.
i know it deep in my heart that yes,
although i made a mistake,
but i loved you, with all of me, really.
even though, it all sounds fake,
and i know there's nothing i can do to atone for my sins.
but i just wanna say that i'm really really sorry
to have hurt you to this extent.
it hurts me too,
to see you in pain,
to see you tormented by what i did.
everytime i think about it,
not a moment goes by that doesn't make me feel like killing myself.
this is my only biggest, greatest regret in my life.
one that i will bring with me to my grave.

and i also wanna thank you.
for being ever so forgiving.
for still believing in me.
for still having to bear with your pain
and still face me at the same time.
thank you for everything that you've done for me.
and i really really appreciate and treasure
what's left of us.
and i wanna start from square one again
and build this whole thing back up,
with love, trust and honesty.

i've been thinking alot these days thou.
stuff that i cannot really put into words.
so i'll keep that for next time.

so with this,
i wanna say sorry mfl.
and thank you for all that you've done for me,
and all the sacrifices you've made.
i love you my sbg.

2007-07-31T11:46:00.000+08:00

and matsui toshihiro can't even blog to cheer someone up. :(

2007-07-26T16:47:00.000+08:00

rawr !
i damn dont like my mom and uncle.
they dont let me work at partyworld =.= ..

that made me sound 17-ish. =\
but yea,
i dont get it seriously.
they get so worried over something as small as this.
if they're gonna get worried over every little thing.
then what am i gonna do next time ?
wear a 2 inch thick specs and sit in the janitor's room ?..
zzz.
aiyah but whatever it is,
i guess i better not work there anyways. =.=

let's put it this way,
i'd rather not work and have no money,
than upset my family ?
yepp.
oh well.
so yah, no more job =.= ..

grr.
no more mood to blog le. =.=
lols. another time another time !
byebye =D
heh.

missssssssssssss.

2007-07-22T23:00:00.001+08:00

ahhh.
it's been so long since i blogged.
but its not like alot of people know of this blog anymore.
>_< ..

okays.
here's abit of an update of my life.
i havent really been doing much of late.
but i've been going out alot.
gone to cine and cathay and cine and cathay quite a few times. =x
and watched harry potter with lynette. ((:
and went partyworld with lynette, lux, thomas, shan, zach, clarence. =D

life was pretty much on the downside.
but its getting better.
and i'm really trying my best now. =D
to make things better.
and i'm glad its really taking effect.
and all my hardwork has paid off.
but of course i have you to thank, starlyn((:
for being ever so forgiving.
for being ever so kind.
for being ever so CUTE.
and HOT. =P
thank you for everything.
you're the most wonderful person in the world ! =D

okays, so that about it.

today was asdf-ing sian -_-..
well not exactly the whole day but the major part of it.

i woke up and guess what i saw.
the cutest face in the world,
lying infront of me.
facing me, sound asleep. ((:
hehe.
so anyways,
the first thing she did when she woke up?
READ HARRY POTTER.
no need brush teeth, no need eat. -____-...
=X
lols. but she was hungry !
so i went down and cook potato for her ! =D
heh.
eat eat eat.
then after that go back up,
pack stuff then i send her home !
and after that ....
the most boring part of my day -_-.

go my uncle house.
sit down first two hour do nth.
my uncle keep talktalktalktalktalktalk. =.= ..
non stop. G_G...
so after he talk finish..
eat, then my other cousins came.
they reach le.
uncle made us watch some nazis show =.= ..
and all of them are talking in german. woohoo.
WAH.
halfway thru i really bth le.
tell my mom.
"hey lets go home. i'm gonna die here."
LOL.
so yepp. got home,
bathed, changed, and went to meet lyn.
we watched 200pound beauty tgt ! =D
hehe. it's a rather touching show (thou i didnt cry).
not a bad storyline. =D
and now i'm home blogging about my day.
and blah blah blah blah blah. =D
so yepps. thats about it.

goodnights world.
ilystarlyn(:

2007-07-17T23:29:00.000+08:00

it is time for a change.
to learn from my mistakes.
and to grow up.

i've always thought i'm grown up and mature enough.
i've always thought that the world needed to change for me.
i've always thought wrong and
now i'm the biggest jerk in the whole world.

i've lived half my life with regrets and lies.
and now i really want to change.
i know i've hurt many people in my life
that i really shouldnt have.
and i'm really sorry for everything that i've done.
and i know there isn't anything i can do to make it up to everyone.
but i guess the best way to make it up,
is to change the way i am now,
and become a better person.

i want to say sorry to a particular special someone in my life.
one that i've hurt the deepest and the most.
and i'm really sorry for what i've done, and i'm honestly regretful.
let God be the judge and every reader be my witness,
i hereby solemnly swear that,
i will try my very best to change.
to never lie,
to never cheat,
to never smoke.
to never be revengeful,
to gracefully accept my faults,
and change to be a better person.

lynette,
i'm really sorry for all the wrong that i've done to you.
and i hope that you'll find it somewhere in your heart to forgive me again.
i'm know i've done you wrong,
and i know i deserve so much worse.
and i'm really thankful for all that you've done.

i love you.
and as a new man,
i swear again, my love to you.
will stay true, for now, for always and forever.
i'm sorry.

2007-07-11T07:29:00.000+08:00

i'm afraid.

but now there's nothing i can do anymore.

hiro, you're gg.

2007-07-06T12:13:00.000+08:00

to live and love.
what more could i have asked for.
yet i wanted more.
i needed more.
it's human nature.

why did god create me to be,
what i didn't want to be.
so he could watch me suffer,
and then mock my misery ?
am i just a sport to him ?

how i wish there was a deeper meaning to this all.
how i wish that yesterday didnt happen.
how i wish love could stay, forever.

2007-07-06T10:00:00.001+08:00

as i walk thru this darkness,
i see a beam of light,
a little hope.
but as i finally reached the light,
it is, but just a figment of my imagination.

i'm losing hope,
i'm losing ground.
i've lost all sense of sight,
time and direction.
i'm lost in this abyss.
the abyss i've created with my own two hands.
pulling me in, slowy..
until im consumed in it,
lost forever.

i've loved you more than anyone could ever have.
given you all that i can give.
but now that it's time to say goodbye,
i only wish you well,
and pray that you find someone with more to offer than me.

why does death tempt me so,
when i fight to survive.
why did i let go,
when i know my heart hasn't die.
why does fate play me,
when he knows already what my future holds.
why do i still lose,
when i've fought so hard to change my destiny.
why do i still exist,
when i only live to die at the end of the day..

2007-07-05T14:15:00.000+08:00

things start changing ever since that day.
and i cannot describe how scary being alone is.

how it hurts,
how i've regretted.
the past, the present,
and the future.

i miss you.
been reading ur emails before.
times when i was in japan..
i really really miss you.
sighs.

2007-07-03T11:57:00.001+08:00

if one day,
something bad were to happen to me,
would you still be the one standing next to me ?

2007-07-02T18:34:00.000+08:00

heartbreaks, heart mends.
love, life, family and friends.
they all exists,
but will be gone in time to come.
and soon i will be too.

i'm still hanging on to my beliefs.
to my promises.
and i have used all of me to uphold it.
used everything i have to try and keep it.

and when the day comes,
when i'm all weared out and teared down.
that will be the day,
that i will be gone too.

why does life feel so screwed now?
it is really because of me alone ?
why is it that some people can be so happy in life,
yet some people live only to taste misery.
while christians say God is fair,
why is it that he made life so unfair ?

do i really ask too many questions ?
...

2007-07-01T11:04:00.000+08:00

i've only read that post a hundred more times,
and i've come to a decision.
and now that i've made my pick,
which i hope i will not come to regret,
i only pray that you will still be the way you are.

i've loved you more than i could love anyone,
and i've really given my all,
but now i see that, love alone is not enough,
and will never be enough.
i've looked at myself, reflected only about more times
than i ever have.
looked back on everything we had,
and all that we've got left now.
even though it hurts more than ever,
freedom seems like the only next best alternative.

i know you're reasons,
and it helped me see things in a better view.
i've seen pretty much of the world,
and what it has to offer.
so maybe now it's your turn,
to have a look at this world,
this ugly ugly place of filth called earth.
it's only fair.

now that i've single-handedly broken all that
i've worked for,tried for,
i hope life will be better for you.
okay, i maybe a little too upset for my own good,
but if we look on the brighter side,
it's a win-win situation for everyone.

after all that's said and done,
i only wish you,
all the best.
and remember,
you are and will always be,
the one that fits.

good day everyone.
good day ..

if only you could see what i see.

2007-06-24T12:33:00.000+08:00

-ahem.

thank you angel for helping to update this dusty blog.
because my life is such a bore,
i just can't be bothered to put anything up anymore.
heh heh. =p

so anyways,
i wanna say thank you for everything this angel has done for me.
she's been really nice to me during this difficult period of time.

and urgh!
i have wake up @ 0430hrs on saturday and sunday.
because of this stupid ops. -_-
i'm sposed to reach station @ 0530hrs.
wahhh. you dont know how tiring it is man.
lols. so anyways, first day, went there.
hoped for something nice for breakfast,
and i got ...
ROTI JOHN, from the canteen,
which totally sucks ! LOL. -_-..
and then on the second day,
which is today, when i already lose hope on what we have to eat,
they gave us ...
nasi lemak.. and a very big portion of it. -_-

tell me, who's gonna finish such a big heavy portion of breakfast like that. -_-
which made the thrash bag 32543243 times more heavy. -_- yay ?

oh but who's complaining when you get to sleep during that whole period.
hehe. rawrX.
urh. so yepp, thats about it for now.
so yeah, i'm home now doing nothing. =D
heh ! ^^

loves.

2007-06-20T09:55:00.000+08:00

an angel has descended from heaven! :D
heh, specially to help matsui toshihiro update his dusty blog.

matsui toshihiro is cursed by sickness!
he is always and forever sick.
-shakeshead.
talking about karma.......

ANYWAY.
yup! matsui toshihiro loves all of you who are reading this.
please take good care of yourself,
and matsui toshihiro will be blessed with more good karma!

loves. (:

2007-06-18T07:07:00.000+08:00

i do miss you,
and it's true that i do.
i'm sorry today has to turn out this way,
and i hope tomorrow will be a better day.
i think i'm just stupid enough to not get any hints.

2007-06-17T05:46:00.000+08:00

this is my 100th post.
maybe it should've been something cheerful,
but somehow, i can't bring myself to put anything happy up.

life hasn't really been good.
thou there are moments where i can really smile,
and laugh my heart out,
but i can't tell people that im really satisfied with my life.

i've been sick ever since god know when,
and it doesnt stop.
it's like an on and off kinda thing,
and it's taking a toll on me.
it's not that i really wanna be sick or anything like that.
but i just am.
and it seems like no matter what i do,
i still fall sick in the end.
=\

i think i really need to go for a full body checkup.
see what the hell's wrong with me..

...

this is my 100th post, and it's so pathetic =.= ..
oh well, forget it lah.
i'm just super moodless to blog anything now so yeah..

life's a b*tch.

2007-06-08T19:06:00.000+08:00

when one has one too many expectations,
it seems that they forget about the expectations of others..

2007-06-08T00:27:00.000+08:00

he stayed up all night thinking,
"what went wrong? where did it go wrong?"
he couldn't sleep, even when he layed on bed.
everytime he closes his eyes, the image of a backview appears.
he didn't dare to close his eyes anymore.
so he just layed there, thinking ...

-------------

morning came, and he still layed there,
with tear-filled, bloodshot eyes.
he knew he had to go to work, but he didn't want to.
he called his supervisor and told him that he couldn't make it today.
he was angry, but agreed in the end.
he just sat on his bed the whole day, without eating nor sleeping.

...

lonliness is a scary thing ..

2007-06-07T00:17:00.000+08:00

"please, dont turn your back on me ever.." he said, crying.
"i can't promise you anything.. i'm sorry." came her reply.
still hurt, but he stopped crying and said,
"it's okay, as long as you promise to just try."

...

he tried his best, each time,
to make her happy, to see her smile.
"i just wanna let you know, i love you." he said, smiling.
she smiled back at him, with her sweetest smile.
"please know that, in my life, i only wanna make one person happy,
make one person feel all the love i can give. and please remember,
when there comes a time i'd make you angry, it would never be on purpose.
i love you too much to see you sad." he continued.
she was touched, "thank you.. i love you too."

but it seems like no matter how much he wanted to make her happy,
he seemed best at only knowing how to upset her..

...

.. he ran up and stopped her from leaving.

"please, don't just leave. let us talk it over." he begged, on the verge of tears.
"why should i?" she retorted.
"please.. just calm down and talk it over(like grown people). dont do this to me."
he went on.
"NO! get lost. i hate you." she said, with such angst, such hatred.

he was at a loss for words.
she left, with her back facing him, both with tears in their eyes.

...

through love's end,
my heart will stay.
not by others, but only by you.

to love's end,
hearts and souls shattered.
one will mend and rise again,
and the other dies...

destined to love,
but only to reach love's end,
never eternity ..

2007-05-28T19:55:00.000+08:00

a little talk with my mom about my recent past
has brought back certain emotions.

a tinge of pain,
and a bucket of tears.
so many words,
yet left unspoken,
became a burden to this willing heart.
life was at its lowest point,
yet there was nothing i could do about it.
i've tried hard to forget this past,
but i can't.
even with my very best efforts,
i couldn't forget even a small part of it.
even until now,
it still haunts me.

i hope everything turns out fine later in the end.

good day (:
x`0uch-

i wish..

2007-05-27T03:44:00.000+08:00

dunno what to say ..
so this post is a dot post.

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2007-05-23T14:23:00.001+08:00

hellos !

i'm eating snake from work and at home blogging ! =D
so bored at station =(
i almost died of boredom in there..
>_< ...
oh well.
so i was surfing baidu.
and i found this song.
hmm, the lyrics added together doesnt sound that good.
but there are parts of it that i really love ! =D
let you all see see ! ^^

我会好好过,
等你再爱我,
总有个角落,
会让你想起我.

我会好好过
当你回头
看到的一定是我.

with all that i am,
i promise you a love of a lifetime. (:
<3*ling. ^^

2007-05-22T07:41:00.000+08:00

life's a messy messy mess ! o.o

mess mess mess..
more mess more mess more mess..
very mess very mess very mess..
very very mess very very mess very very mess..
wahh messy ah, die liao;
wahh messy ah, die liao;
wahh messy ah, die liao.

~.~

heh heh. sorry.
dunno what to post.
my brain like very messy ahh.
then blog messy ! =D

take care.

2007-05-18T06:50:00.000+08:00

i cannot be more sorry than now. shit.
why do i always just sleep sleep sleep.
hiro, time to * wake up !
how could i have just slept like that.

im so sorry *ling. so sorry.
what was i thinking, sleeping like that.
sighs. i bet you tried to wake me up,
but i couldn't right. dammit.
wa* i damn suck. sorry.
i dont know how many sorry's i'm gonna say,
but dammit, im really sorry.
of all nights, i had to sleep tonight.
sighs.
im sorry..

i had a really damn bad day yesterday.
i went to work, not feeling too well.
and i heard i had to work on saturday,
the day when i was sposedly meeting lyn to go out.
and the worse thing is i can't claim that shit,
cos it's punishment for being late.
it never pays to be honest in the bloody station.
how many pple come late,
yet they put the timing @ 0830 ?
i decided to be honest and put that i was really late for 15 mins.
and now, i have to work a * 8 hours to payback as punishment ? lol?
wth is wrong with this station.
i srsly dont understand.
so if they make us go home late,
how are they gonna pay us back?
they * let us home at 1840 yesterday.
how the hell u gonna pay us back?!
bastards.
its always pay back to them and never get paid back?
is that the way its sposed to be?
there's no logic behind this.
you pay and pay and pay,
when do u ever get anything in return.
so what if its national service.
so you're telling me ur serving the nation,
and they cannot help you back?
HAH, screw this place.
seriously.

why the hell does life feel so wrong now,
everything just feels so wrong.
ITS MY DAMN LIFE AND I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG.
IT'S LIKE WHEN ONE IS BORN IN SINGAPORE,
UR LIFE ISN'T YOUR LIFE ANYMORE.
EVEN IF YOU GO SUICIDE,
YOU'RE STILL IN THE WRONG.
MY LIFE OWE SINGAPORE ONE AH.
LIKE THAT WHO WANT TO STAY HERE.
ma de ..

k totally damn sian way to start a day.
but oh wth.
time to bathe and go to work. zdotz.

im sorry lyn,
i truly am.

*hiro.

2007-05-17T01:10:00.000+08:00

i feel ...
so dry;
so empty;
so alone.

people tend to feel this way once in awhile.
and i'm only human.
sometimes, i wanna find someone out,
just to take a walk, or just sit and watch the stars.

well i just asked the one person i'd love to do that with,
and she tells me she's busy with other stuff.
so forget it.

ahh thats life !
at least it is now.
i dont understand why i'm emoing,
but i just am. probably its just another bad day.
luckily i slept thru almost all of it.

goodnights.

please, give me strength to carry on.

2007-05-16T23:10:00.001+08:00

Create your own Friend Test here

FAIL THIS TEST AND I'M GONNA KILL YOU ! =D

2007-05-11T00:02:00.000+08:00

HAH ! THE GODLY DONUTS ! =D

2007-05-10T23:39:00.000+08:00

hah !
hello again world !
today is the most LOL day of my life. =x
well, i slept at 2 - 3 am last night ?
and then i had to wake up at 9 cos some idiot friends of mine wanted breakfast.
okokays. so i decided to go, since i had to queue for donuts later on.
so i just went ahead with them.
they wanted to go to this dimsum buffet thing at chinatown,
and when we reached, we realised that,
oh they changed the timing for the dimsum buffet to 3pm. =.=
omg, totally pwned. damn sian.
then after that, we sit down think think think,
then decided on chickenrice !
ALL THE WAY TO CHINATOWN FOR FREAKING CHICKEN RICE. LOL. -_-
omg lah. but oh well, the portion was GIGANTIC ! =O !!!
4 dollars can eat 2 pple alr ~.~" siao one..
so anyways, i ordered chicken noodles, with the other 2,
and koh ordered chickenrice. =.= the portion of chickenrice,
is really scary. LOL. and koh finished it all. -claps.
it was like x2 of the chicken noodles -_- ...

so after our meal,
i asked koh to accompany me to raffles city to buy ..
DONUTS from THE !#$^%^*@ DONUT FACTORY !
walao eh.
we reached the place at late 10 am about 11.
and we looked at the queue and thot,
eh, quite little pple, heng arh..
then stood at the queue.
then this lady said to us,
"eh .. i think the queue is behind there (pointing to a longggg queue behind)."
so i'm like har ? orh okays, thankyou ! (: ..
SCAMMED !
it's not even opened and there are AT LEAST 20 odd pple at the queue ALREADY.
so we sat there for awhile and talked about dota and laughed til my throat hurt. -_-
something about how koh got scammed ! LOL. nerd.
so anyways, i was like wah .. why so long haven't open yet. T_T ..
so i went up front the ask the lady again,
and she told me, oh they only open at around 1245 to 1300 ..
OMGWTHBBQASDF!
and guess what, it was still ... 1115.
k, die liao ..
so we just sat there, and sleep !
LOL in the middle of the queue,
in the middle of nowhere inside the shopping complex,
we slept right there, sitting down of cos !
z_z zzz. . .
when we woke up, HAH.
1200 ! =D 45 more mins to opening ! ^^.
we were hungry again !
so we decided to grab a bite.
we played SCISSORS PAPER STONE,
to decide who's gonna ask the lady behind us to help us "CHOP" the place.
cos we were both too paiseh to ask =x LOL.
and i lose ! T_T wahh. lose so many times. damn sway. LOL.
aiyah, then no choice lah. ask then ask loh.
went to buy drinks only in the end. orange juice. -_- eee.
not nice one. DAMN SOUR. cos FRESHLY SQUEEZED.
YUCK !
but it kept us awake ! =p

hah, so wait wait wait. =.= finally get donut loh. godly donut. make me queue 4 hours.
FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE IM QUEUE-ING FOR SOMETHING THAT HASN'T EVEN OPENED YET ! OMG !
wahhhh. never again man ! never ! LOL. super scam !

hah ! headed home after that and slept ! T_T
but lyn wants to wake up after only 2 hours of sleep. =( !
so i woke up, ate dinner with her and then watch naruto episode 17.
then after that send her home le. ~.~

come to think of it, aiyah.
i think its still worth it to queue that long.
not only does it taste good,
it's for someone i love.
so WHO'S COMPLAINING ! =D =X

<3!
godly donut scammer !